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Updated: Jun 3, 2020

I'm still grappling with expressing in writing about the murder of a black man- George Floyd in Minneapolis which seems like a public execution. I guess that's why people hire Authors. Just watching the videos and listening to the enraged masses gathered from one end of the nation across the other end sends chills down my spine as so does his blood curdling pleas for help, that would not arrive. Words cannot explain what the family is going through right now. Words cannot explain what the massive crowds are going through right now and words doesn't explain what those who choose to remain in their houses numbed by what is going on in the country or those who choose to walk away from their emotions just to hide from the moral deprivation they are forced to witness.

Is this an act of injustice? The word injustice doesn't echo the pain, anguish and the suffering this horrible act has caused among those left to deal with the loss of Floyd. The question is very loud and crystal clear as it hung in the air like a crowd of thick smoke waiting to consume those who will not look deeper than what's going on around them, a dark crowd and a promise of doom for days to come, an impending extinction of mankind. I am with an imagination that...that takes me to revisit places I do not want to go! unrealistic movies like "the walking dead", the "annihilation" or "resident evil" while i ask myself out these questions loudly and as I, filled with utter disgust and uncertainty of what the future holds for mankind, [which is so bleak right now], take one step forward and another backward .What would you have done if Floyd was your son? Friend, next of kin?Neighbor?Someone you knew or-/someone-/you -/did -/not -/know? As you look and listen, I suggest that you be your own judge!! because this act of public execution, is an act of racism fueled by hate, moral depravity, insanity, deteriorate and a vivid reminder of what's left that we must deal with henceforth.

When any inhumane behavior[ Racism fueled by hate], is left to go on for so long in a society it ultimately erodes it's virtues, it's core, and not only does it affect those people that are directly affected; the victims, family and friends but also the onlookers and the by standers alike. It affects the whole communities across the nation and in the digital age the world as a whole. While we say phrases like we are in a digital world, or this is the 21st century, is it really? Have we changed at all and reached the equilibrium where we are able to live with each others like human beings and not like savages and morally depraved individuals of the digital age and the 21st centuries phenomenon? You be the judge and jury! When will man accept that unless we change how we look at each other on the inside we will not bear to look at each other's appearance on the outside because like a piece of clothing no one want's it inside out! It's come a time when men must look closer at fellow men and ask the question out loud. Who I'M I? and he or she must stand in front of a mirror of morals.

Since I have recently witnessed on national Television public execution of black men I'm left horrified, sick to my stomach and a complete disable of thoughts, emotions, goodness while I stagger to hold on to the clutches of any but remaining sanity. I stand in wonder and perplexity as I quote a famous writer who must have foreseen the current events taking place- the execution of black men. I still and will quote Brent staples in his "Black men public space", while I being black was forced to witness and experience racism on different occasions. It helped me cope with situations which otherwise would have caused emotional erosion that would have been irreparable. You know that you would be lying to say that you've never felt like Brent Staples being black and in America...male or female alike.

Oh once again, I have been left to heal my emotional wounds from last time a man was slewed jogging in his neighborhood, again and again i limp and crawl at the same time trying to hold onto something on this hard cold floor as I,...I thought i had recovered from the shooting of a teenage black boy in Missouri and as as i wrote about it then, another incident had happened as i barely stood.

Again and again. Are there any bystanders, won't someone hold my hand? I have been scarred and left crippled for life in this black hole darkened with misery...I see no end to it. Can anyone hear me alas! is there no "Carpathian"? This time we hit the Iceberg. I cry, I bemoan my fellow man!as I, drowning in this senseless cruelty and the unfathomable depth of it all. Will i see a ray of light again?

Hidden from view and locked away I am, not a word, a whisper, a groan comes out of this mouth!It's forever sealed.The only thing left in this empty shell is an ominous silence.


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